Well, it's good to be back home. I had an absolute blast on this trip, but something about coming home and sleeping in your own bed sounds pretty damn good when you have been on the road for a week. This is a long account of my adventures while on the road last week, and if it's too long for you to read, eat a dick. I don't do cliff notes. Pictures will follow as soon as I can sort through them and shrink them down in size.
Where to begin.... Well, Friday night the 22nd we left Orlando at around 7:30PM and headed north. We arrived in Green Bay about 4:30PM after roughly
22 hours of straight driving, all done by yours truly. We only stopped for the occasional piss break and gas, with a little drive thru convenience when food was in dire need.
That evening, finding a hotel proved to be an exercise in futility. ALL of the hotels in Green Bay were booked solid, and we had to start looking elsewhere in neighboring cities. We found a motel in Appleton, about 20 minutes from GB. Ironically, it was the same hotel that I had checked on when we started planning our venture; but my buddy told me not to reserve a room since we would be able to find a cheaper place. Go figure.
Finally, we were able to get some sleep. A good 12 hours of it.
Game Day in Green Bay is something that every football fan should experience at least once in their lifetime, regardless of your team allegiance. The ENTIRE TOWN is Packer Crazy. I have only seen this with college towns (i.e. South Bend, IN for Notre Dame) in the past, never for any pro team. Even the McDonalds in town is green and gold. Streets are shut down, tailgating is everywhere, and people are extremely friendly all around. I must have been given beer by about 5 or so people just from walking around. I had tickets to an exclusive tailgate party @ Brett Favre's Steakhouse, $25 all you can eat and drink. I sure as hell did. The term "Shit-housed" comes to mind. (Only TM fans will know what that truly means)
The game was absolutely fantastic, especially considering our seats were on the 8th row up from the field, right next to where the players exit the tunnel. Not only that, EVERY touchdown in the game was scored in our endzone. This all made Morpheus very happy. It was so fun watching my friend fire darts at Parcells, since he is a Redskins fan and hates the Cowboys by default. When Ahman Green ran for that 70 or so yard touchdown, the entire stadium erupted in cheers that told the story of the whole game. The Pack absolutely owned the Cowgirls; they made them all wear dresses and then bent them over to grab their ankles. Sweet victory. The only thing that would have made that night any better was finding some hot farmer's daughter to bring back to my hotel. Alas, it was not to be. I could have had the heifer sitting behind me, but even I have standards. It was wayyy too early in this trip to lower them that much.
The next day, we went back to Lambeau Field for a stadium tour and to visit the Packer Hall of Fame. They actually had Lombardi's old desk there and I got to sit behind it. Pretty cool.
Tuesday we found ourselves in Milwaukee at the Miller Brewery. After the hour long tour, they give you free "samples" of beer, I took advantage of this. Our tour guide was so freaking hot, it was only her second tour so she was a little nervous. I did my best to make her feel more comfortable, as you all can well imagine. In between tour stops, I was talking with her quite a bit and actually making some leeway.... or so I thought. I asked her if she would like to go out later that night, but she declined. Apparently, Miller doesn't take to kindly to their tour guides dating patrons of the tour.
Dammit.
Chicago has some of the worst traffic and poorly maintained roads I have ever seen. I came precariously close to damaging my BRAND NEW rims a few times. Oh, and gas is fcuking rediculous expensive there too. My buddy and I were on the prowl, so we headed downtown to the ESPN Zone. Holy hell was that place crowded. The World Series was on TV, and all the baseball fans had come out to watch it there. Shit. I don't know where anything else is in Chicago, so we started walking around trying to find a place to eat. We settled on P.F. Chang's around the corner. Good food. If you have one in your town, go check it out. I start flirting with the 2 MILFs at the table next to us, and they could care less. They're lesbians. Great. I have never seen 2 lipstick lesbos together before, usually one of them is the bull dyke. Rather than trying to walk around and find a suitable bar to go whore hunting, we decided to call it a night and drag our tired asses back to the hotel.
Cleveland. There's not much I can say about this town. I will give you all a word of warning however...
DO NOT GO TO THE ROCK AND ROLL HALL OF FAME. Do yourself a favor and find the nearest Hard Rock Cafe, it's free to get in and you will see more memorabilia. An absolute waste of $20 for admission, I expected a lot more than I saw. There were probably about 20 guitars in the whole place, a few concert posters here and there, and not much else. I expected to see displays for each enshrined artist, or something like that but no. In fact, you wouldn't know who was inducted which year unless you went to one of 4 kiosks/listening stations and looked them up by induction year. I wanted to see the napkin that McCartney penned the words to "Let it Be" on, not a Beatles lunchbox that anyone could have purchased in Kmart back in 1971. Oh, and they don't allow any cameras in there. Fcuking waste of time.
The Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton was another story. I somewhat knew what to expect there, as I had seen some things about it before. There was some really interesting stuff there, and they had an actual room with all of the inductees' busts in it. It was a great place to visit and I'd probably do it again if my travels ever brought me near Canton OH again someday.
Washington D.C. The center of democracy. I don't know about the rest of the year, but the weekend before the election it's pretty crowded. The WW2 memorial is pretty cool, they did a good job with it.
Game Day. Halloween. Good golly miss molly. Tailgating is a lot more fun when you have a guy with you whom was cooked for heads of state. My buddy's nephew is a former chef, and he whipped up some great stuff for us before the game. We're talking shrimp and crab stuffed pork loin and his very good personal recipe chicken wings. I'm talking fall off the bone good. Combine all that with quite a few beers, and you have tailgating heaven. I was actually suprised at the amount of Packer fans in the lot, every other car it seems. The game was interesting, since I was the only Packer fan in my row. Once again, we were 8th row up from the field, next to the player's tunnel.. My buddy was yelling at Joe Gibbs, causing quite a scene. Pretty soon, everyone in the stadium started shouting
RAMSEY........RAMSEY right along with him. After that last touchdown was called back on a penalty, Brunell threw an INT that pretty much in turn threw my bud into a tirade of profanities aimed directly at the Redskins bench. I'm actually suprised that we didn't get thrown out of there. After the game, and the whole 12 hour ride home he didn't say much at all. This sucked for a few reasons, not the least of which being it was his job to help keep my exhausted ass awake.
Overall, this trip was one of the hardest ever. I seriously doubt I will ever attempt anything like this again, as I am still trying to recover from the copius amounts of caffeine I ingested on the way home. I am sad to report that there wasn't any ass getting for Morph on this trip, my opportunities for whoring were few. Once I get these pics arranged and sorted, I will post them as well.
but still good times were had 
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