On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded ...
Two Italian men and one Italian woman
Two French men and one French woman
Two German men and one German woman
Two Greek men and one Greek woman
Two English men and one English woman
Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman
Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman
Two Irish men and one Irish woman
Two American men and one American woman.
One month later, on this absolutely stunning deserted island in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred....
One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a ménage a trois.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to a different island.
The two Japanese men faxed Tokyo and are waiting for instructions.
The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few litres of coconut whisky. However, they are happy because the English aren't having any fun.
The two American men are contemplating suicide because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfilment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinions and treated her a lot better than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the cause of all her problems, and why didn't they bring a cell phone with them so they could call 911 and get them all rescued from this godforsaken deserted island in the middle of nowhere ... so she can get her nails done and go shopping.
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Quote:
I hate mankind for I consider myself one of the best of them, and I know how bad I am
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"Biggie Smalls said it best. The only way to become rich is if youre slinging crack rock, or you got a wicked jump shot." - Seth Davis, Boiler Room
"A warm toilet seat is like sex with a hooker -- it's comfortable, but you really don't want to think about who was there right before you." - Michael K
An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an
Individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack
of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified --
an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Filipino.
He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question.
Their answer would determine who of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table
the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know?"
Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your
head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it’s just there.
A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.
"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian.
"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't
know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's
a very popular cliche for speed."
He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating
his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the
house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that
switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes
on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and
thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of
light" he said.
Turning to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth and final man,
the interviewer posed the same question. Eleuterio replied,
"Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's ob yus to me dat
the fastest thing is Diarrhea."
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others
were already giggling in their seats...
"Oh, I can expleyn sir,." said Eleuterio. " You see, sir, da ader
day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the CR, but
before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, sir,
I had alreydi shit in my pants!"
An office manager at Wal-Mart was given the task of hiring an
Individual to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack
of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified --
an American, a Russian, an Australian and a Filipino.
He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question.
Their answer would determine who of them would get the job.
The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table
the interviewer asked, "What is the fastest thing you know?"
Dave, the American, replied, "A THOUGHT. It just pops into your
head. There's no warning that it's on the way; it’s just there.
A thought is the fastest thing I know of."
"That's very good!" replied the interviewer.
"And now you sir?" he asked Vladimir, the Russian.
"Hmm.... let me see. A blink! It comes and goes and you don't
know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know."
"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye, that's
a very popular cliche for speed."
He then turned to George, the Australian who was contemplating
his reply. "Well, out at my dad's ranch, you step out of the
house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that
switch, way out across the pasture the light in the barn comes
on. Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of."
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and
thought he had found his man. "It's hard to beat the speed of
light" he said.
Turning to Eleuterio, the Filipino, the fourth and final man,
the interviewer posed the same question. Eleuterio replied,
"Apter herring da 3 preybyus ansers sir, et's ob yus to me dat
the fastest thing is Diarrhea."
"WHAT!?" said the interviewer, stunned by the response. The others
were already giggling in their seats...
"Oh, I can expleyn sir,." said Eleuterio. " You see, sir, da ader
day my tummy was peeling bad and so I run so fast to the CR, but
before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, sir,
I had alreydi shit in my pants!"
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Once upon a deserted island
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