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The Waddy Chronicles: Altimas.net Exclusive
This won't be on my site, only here for my altimas.net homies.
If this isn't up to the quality of my past chronicles please excuse the rust, this is the first one I've written in almost a year I think. Anyway enjoy......
Threesome in Jamaica
In all my years of man-whoring I have never, ever, been able to pull off a threesome in Jamaica. First off I left for Texas in the late nineties just as MTV began infecting the country with its glorious pro-slut programming, so I missed the Jamaican sexual revolution among my peers. Secondly because Jamaica (the city of Kingston in particular) is such a small pond (compared to a major U.S. City) people tend to be more secretive with their sexual proclivities, so you never know who is down for what. And finally in general people are just more uptight about sex, for instance oral sex is still taboo in the general public’s eyes, however people still do it they just keep it to themselves, so even if people are freaky they probably won’t really show it. So imagine my sheer delight that I am actually sitting here able to type a story about a threesome in Jamaica with two girls who were born, raised, and have never lived anywhere else but in Jamaica.
The story actually starts a few months prior, I was in Jamaica for a family reunion and 100th birthday party for my dear grandmother. It was a great family celebration, and I was surrounded by women who were related to me and therefore I could not have sex with them. A couple of my cousin’s wives maybe, but hey I have a little class…..I think. Anyway I spent my time bouncing between the family gathering in rural Jamaica, and my home in Kingston. When in Kingston I would try to meet up with as many friends as possible, get as drunk as possible, and try to have sex if possible. During a night of drinking at our usual spot “Peppers” I was introduced to “Briana”. She was about 5’3”, cute, slim to almost skinny, perky B-cup tits, and lips that were made for blowjobs, I’d give her a solid 7. We hit it off immediately and soon we were lost in conversation with each other ignoring the rest of our mutual friends, honestly I have no idea what we talked about as I was too busy working out how I was going to get an opportunity to molest her in the most debauched ways possible before I left back to Houston. We exchanged numbers and agreed to meet up for drinks on another night just the two of us. We met up a couple times and by the second time out she was hoovering my cock in my rental car in the parking lot of the bar. Unfortunately logistics intervened and that is all I was able to get from lovely Briana that trip. Fast-forward to Christmas, I am back in Jamaica, Briana and I have kept contact through e-mail and MSN and she is now a priority one ****-expedition on the Wad-dar.
When I am in Jamaica it is always hectic, 18 days sounds like a lot of time but when there is a party on 9 of those 18 days so you are hung-over or drunk the whole time, you have friends in other parts of the island to visit, you have at least 4 women who want the Waddingo (and you’re still searching for more), plus you have to be the good son and big brother and make time for family, you realize it’s a crazy balancing act. The first night I am there, my friends all get together at “Peppers” for a few drinks, its about 20 or so of us and of course Briana is there. I notice that beside her is a full-fledged hottie, where Briana is slim, petite, and cute, her friend, lets call her “Sheila” is tall, curvy, pouty, and sexy, the kind of woman who you know you have to be on your “A” game for, lets give her a 7 also, just a different kind of 7 than Briana. Now as we all know I stay on my A game so I am not intimidated in the least, but because of my previous experiences with trying to score a threesome with Jamaican women in Jamaica, I decide that I should choose between Briana and Sheila. Briana sucks a great dick, and I was sure she’d be a dynamo in bed (the tiny ones always are!) but I decided I wanted to test my mettle with Sheila. Now I didn’t just get my player card yesterday, even though I made that conscious decision there is no way I am freezing out Briana, a good cocksucker is always a good thing to have around. So even though I pay special attention to Sheila, who I find out shares an apartment with Briana, I am careful to not leave Briana out of the loop. As the night goes on I notice that despite looking like a man-eater, Sheila is very shy, kind of withdrawn, and while looking pleasant enough is not really mingling with the crowd. You know what that means, silent rivers……run deep, my nympho-alert goes off like crazy, and I decide that I have got to get this girl. So Briana and Sheila tell me they usually just end up chillin at home and drinking some rum and talking most weekends. I let them know that anytime they need some company, they should let me know as I have nothing but time on my hands while I am here. Immediately Briana makes a date for me to stop by that weekend to hang out. Once again I am so locked into my “one woman at a time in Jamaica” mentality that I am actually kind of bummed. I figure Briana wants me to **** her which is why she anxiously made the date, so I’ll end up going over there talking to them both and then end up ****ing Briana after Sheila goes to sleep. I know, I know, boo-****ing-hoo right? There are definitely worse fates than being sentenced to getting bombed on premium Jamaican rum and ****ing a 7 out of 10 until her eyes pop out of her head, but I was still bummed.
I show up at Briana and Sheila’s place with a bottle of Appleton Estates RESERVE Rum, in my old age I have started to become a liquor connoisseur and I highly recommend you try this bottle if you have any inclination to drinking good rum. Sheila answers the door and she’s in chill mode, sweats and a little t-shirt but still looking sexy. Briana is in the kitchen looking ready for action wearing a t-shirt and a skirt, which I have no doubt is the extent of the clothing on her lower body. As I said before I had reasonable expectations for the night, I was gonna get laid by one woman and it most likely wasn’t Sheila. Boy was I wrong. We settle into the living room and the ladies entrust me with the drink mixing duties, I wonder if they saw the wry smile and the little “muhahahahahahaha” that I let out every time I mixed them a drink. At some point the conversation turns to sex, ok fine I steered it towards sex, lesson #1 for getting laid when in the presence of a woman you know is feeling you, steer the conversation towards sex, if you talk about it, it will happen. Now I was in for my first shock of the night; you know how you never ever thought about some scenario or action until somebody tells you a story and then you go “Holy shit! That could have happened to me!” And you start racking your brain to see if it actually did? Briana tells me stories that made even me, Waddy, the king of debauchery cringe and doubt myself for a second. She tells a story about her ex-boyfriend, first guy she ever loved that broke her heart and almost pushed her to suicide. A couple years later they kind of reconciled, and even though she had a new boyfriend she would still mess around with the ex. Now the ex loved to eat her out, she said there were times where he would just call her up out of the blue, come over and that’s all he would do, eat her out and go back home. So one day she had an all day sex session with her then boyfriend, they didn’t use any condoms and he busted like 6 or 7 nuts in her that day. She didn’t shower when she left her boyfriend’s house and on the way home the ex calls……out of the blue…..wanting to eat her out. She said she went home, she didn’t shower, she let the ex come over and she let him eat her pussy for hours, she said she forced herself not to come so he could keep going to make sure he sucked out every last drain of cum that her boyfriend left inside of her. And when the ****er was done he gets up, looks at her, and says “Baby, that’s the best you’ve ever tasted!”. I think I speak for all men reading this right now when I say GAWAHHAHAWHAAHAAHHHH!!!!!! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned but holy, mother****ing, shit! It does not get more vindictive than that! So next time you have a messy breakup and she lets you keep ****ing her, think about that little story and act accordingly friends. Personally for my sake, I hope no woman ever admits to doing that to me, or else I will be in prison after I am done with her, I won’t say what I’m gonna do, but it involves barbed wire, Listerine, a surgical scalpel and handcuffs. Now Sheila not to be upstaged relates a story of her own, and this story is about when I realized just what they had in store for the old Waddingo.
Sheila despite looking the part of a dick-draining sex beast had a personality that belied her appearance. I was to soon find out whether she was a cub or a tigress.. She starts in first telling a story about how she was a kept woman when she was younger, by the husband of her boss no less. They would actually carpool together and the husband would rub her leg in the backseat as his clueless wife sat beside him, I wonder if I am related to this guy? Anyway that warmed me up for what would come next. Apparently before Sheila lived with Briana she shared a house with her brother and his wife. Sheila’s brother met his wife through her, sounds all innocent right? How about this then, the reason why Sheila’s brother was able to meet and marry his wife through Sheila is because for 2 years prior to that Sheila and her brother’s bride were taking turns doing the tongue tango with each others love folds. Ladies and gentlemen we have a bisexuality liftoff! Turns out that with her previous boyfriend Sheila used to frequently go to strip clubs and pick out strippers for them to have threesomes with. What did I say about silent rivers? This chick was an out and out slore! I’d love to tell you some more stories that Sheila told me but jackpot bells were going off in my head and I wasn’t able to hear anything after that. Once I regained my composure and the bells went off I realized what was about to happen, and gentlemen a word of advice, the moment you realize that there is a possibility that two women are willing to **** you at the same time, it is the same moment that you should stop talking and start acting. Now both girls smoke so they were taking turns heading out to the balcony to smoke, soon after the jackpot bells stopped ringing Sheila heads outside for a smoke, I act. I sidle up to Briana and start kissing her neck, I rub her breast over her shirt, I gently nudge her chin towards me and kiss her, we start making out. A couple minutes into that I decide to pull my patented “All or Nothing” move. I unzip my pants and reveal my tool in all his glory. I call it the all or nothing because that is exactly what will happen. When you are making out with a girl if you have the nuts and you think she’s feeling you, just whip your dick out at some point, either she’ll start jacking it off, then eventually suck it, then eventually **** you (ALL), or she’ll freak the **** out and call you a perv and tell you to go home (NOTHING). Now since my cock is not a stranger to Briana’s mouth it was an “All” kind of night. She starts sucking it and she is just as glorious a rifle cleaner as I remember her. This goes on for a while and I am just staring at the corner to the balcony, waiting for Sheila to come back inside and hoping with all my heart that she decides to join in, I didn’t have to wait long. she comes in and stops with a kind of blank look on her face, a look that says I have seen this before, but also says I wasn’t expecting to see it right now. She takes a couple steps closer and Briana stops slurping my man-meat long enough to look up and notice her standing there. They both start cracking up, what do I do? Keep my ****ing mouth shut while they decide whether they are going to share my dick or not. Now have you ever shared a longneck beer with a person, you know that move where you look at them and kinda tilt the beer towards them, basically saying “hey, you ready for a sip?”. That’s what Briana did with my dick over in Sheila’s direction, and by golly was Sheila ready for a sip.
I look down and see the glorious sight of two women, one patiently waiting while the other sucks my dick, then when the other is ready she gives it up to her friend and she tries to outdo what girl #1 just did. It’s all too much, I bust a quick nut and Briana swallows every drop. I lay there spent, after a toe-curling, muscle spazing orgasm that almost broke my ****ing neck. As Briana still gently sucks on my dick, Sheila leans back and takes her top off, I lean forward and start sucking on her perfect nipples. Briana gets up and goes to get a drink of water or something, as I go to help Sheila take off her sweatpants, before I do she stops me and leads me to a bedroom. Briana follows, I know I am not ready to go again just yet, and the threesome veteran Sheila knows this and tells me to “just watch”. She crawls over to Briana lifts up her shirt and starts gently sucking on her nipples. Now a man can learn a thing or two from a true bisexual/lesbian woman when it comes to foreplay and oral. Like, don’t pay too much attention to girl-girl pornos, that stuff is made for men and the girls in them act more like guys with tits, than like bisexual women. No sir, in person watching two women together is a much different experience, you realize it is OK to go slow, you don’t need to flick your tongue as fast as a hummingbird's wings, you don’t need to use your man strength to grab and grope her, and you don’t only pay attention to nipples, pussy, and clit, you use her whole body. Now I already knew this, but every time I see it in person it amazes me, it is so beautiful it brings a tear to my eye and steel to my dick. So by the time Briana is on her back with her skirt hiked up to her waist shivering from her second or third orgasm I am ready to go again, and Sheila is on her knees, face buried in Briana’s love nest, ass in the air, with her dripping wet slit there for the taking. I strap up and slowly move into position, because the last thing I want to do is to go jackhammering away while the ladies are having a tender moment. I ease my way into Sheila and she looks back and moans in approval, soon we are in rhythm and it is as if we are the only ones in the room. ****ing Sheila is everything I thought it would be, soon her legs lose stamina and she falls flat on her stomach, I am basically in a push-up position and pounding her from the back as she grips the sheets. I look beside me and Briana is furiously rubbing her clit, she has to be on at least orgasm number 4 by now and I haven't even touched her yet. Sheila starts clenching her pussy lips, this girl is good, I put my arm underneath her stomach and roll her over, so now I am on my back and she is on top of me facing away. As she rides me my balls are wet from her pussy juice, she pulls off the patented, let me turn around while your dick is still in me move that every man loves so much and then she starts to put it on me like I was Ja Rule and she was Ashanti. She squats so only the head and a little of the shaft is inside of her, and clenches and releases while rolling her hips. This woman is a first class slore all the way, I may need to import her to Houston, no lie. It doesn’t take long before I am popping off like the Fourth of July again. I lay there for a while just enjoying the moment and as Sheila dismounts my half-hard dick she clenches so hard that she takes of the condom with her pussy. WOW. At this point the room is full of budussy so we all decide to take a shower together, this of course turns into a cock-sucking competition and I am not complaining. We don’t even bother to dry off, and hop back into the bed, I know that Briana wants me to **** her and I am more than willing to oblige. I start ****ing her on the edge of the bed and when I think she is sufficiently wet and ready I pick her up and start ****ing her like the animal I am. Briana is a screamer, and she let her neighbors know it as I do pussy curls with her 110lb frame impaled on my dick. We get back on the bed and she gets on top of me as I lay there I look over at Sheila who gets this sly smile on her face. Next thing I know I have one woman on my cock and one woman on my face, I thought it would be great but it kinda sucked, I couldn’t see Briana riding my dick and I was straining my neck trying to keep my head up so Sheila’s ass wouldn’t suffocate me, least favorite moment of the night. I gently ease Sheila off and tell Briana to get on all fours and eat out Sheila, partly because I was tired of eating her out, partly because I wanted to see that shit! As I am railing Briana from the back I am finally about bust my third nut of the night and I decide these ladies need a bath. I pull out of Briana take the condom off and spooge all over her back, now I must have been super excited because it flew so far it hit Sheila in the left tit and she was at least 4 feet away. After we rest, we take another shower/blowjob contest to wash off the cum, and returned to the room to **** some more. This dance continued all night, I got there at 9pm, and 5 nuts later I left at 5:30am, you do the math.
Now let have some church up in here for a second, brothers you have not lived until you look down and see two women tongue-wrestling across your dick. Oh no, you have not breathed the air of a living red-blooded heterosexual man until you know what it is like to have your balls licked, while your dick is halfway down the throat of another woman. I say unto you my brothers, that you have not walked upon the earth as a truly living soul until you slap a woman’s ass while she is munching on the pussy of another woman while you rail said woman from the back. No, no, no, I say unto thee that you do not know what it is to hear, until you hear a woman say unto you, “Wait, stop, I just came again, **** Briana now”. I verily say unto you that these things are things that every man should experience before he dies, or gets married, same difference.
Last edited by Waddy : 01-18-2007 at 09:34 PM.
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Excellent story.
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