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Be very afraid...
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Discussion Starter #1
1.Two antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."

3. A jumper cable walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

4. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

5. A sandwich walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve food in here."

6. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

7. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says,
"A beer please, and one for the road."

8. Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"

9. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
Doc says, "It's Not Unusual."

10.. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field
"I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you."
"It's true, no bull!"

11. An invisible man marries an invisible woman.
The kids were nothing to look at either.

12. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says,
"My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?!"
"No, because he's really heavy."

13. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

14. I went to the butcher's the other day and I bet him 50 bucks that he
couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf.
He said, "No bet, the steaks are too high."

15. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.
 
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#9 is the only one worth while.
 

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mike :( First sellign the G... now this. I dunno, i think you're gonna hit your 2nd mid life crisis soon... :(








:D :)
 

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Al Bundy's Friend Griff said:
#9 is the only one worth while.
I was thinking the same thing. I suppose lots of the young 'uns here won't get it, though. :(

Anyway, I got a laugh out of def35's sig of the old woman kicking the baby. How did they do that?
 

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Two balloons are floating through the air. One says to the other, "Watch out, as we are approaching a cactusssssssssssssssssssssssssss."

I have two more, but they are in Romanian, so pretend you can speak it for one minute. "Beton" is cement, and "Trepte" means stairs.

Two mosquitos are flying through the air. One says to the other, "Watch out, as we are approaching a wall of be-toinnnggg!!!"

Two marbles are rolling on the floor. One says to the other, "Watch out, as we are approaching a flight of trep-trep-trep-trep-trep-trep... "
 

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Be very afraid...
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5,464 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
Chris said:
mike :( First sellign the G... now this. I dunno, i think you're gonna hit your 2nd mid life crisis soon... :(
nah, if you spent any time around my family (my parents and sibs, not my wife and kids) you'd realize that these are what we refer to as "Stevens jokes" :D
 

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Next year in DC, i'm gonna talk to your wife again to confirm that (and of course kiss more ass so she bakes more cookies) :D
 

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Resident Lush
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Chris said:
Next year in DC, i'm gonna talk to your wife again to confirm that (and of course kiss more ass so she bakes more cookies) :D
C.P.'s wife's cake > M.S.'s wife's cookies




:wall: :D


Ah, what the hell am I talking about, they were too close to call.
 

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Be very afraid...
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5,464 Posts
Discussion Starter #18
def35 said:
C.P.'s wife's cake > M.S.'s wife's cookies




:wall: :D


Ah, what the hell am I talking about, they were too close to call.
Next year I'll have her bake a chocolate-chip cake and hand decorate it with an Altima and the AMS logo. Beat that! :D


(you guys may remember my birthday cake from last year: )
 
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