The Nissan Club banner

1 - 20 of 73 Posts

·
Lord of the Thighs
Joined
·
1,240 Posts
Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
The story of my weekend is going to be one of those that I will be reflecting on when I am old and gray for sure. This may be a bit long, but it must be in order to set it up properly. Trust me it will be worth it. Names have been changed to protect the guilty. There will be no Cliff’s Notes, if you don’t want to read it, **** off. If you know me, you might just know my knack for storytelling. First, I need to fill you in on some back story…..



Every weekend for the past few months, my ex wife (even though the divorce is not yet final, it’s close enough) takes my 2 boys and stays with her parents. I don’t know why, maybe she feels that I need some time to myself or something. She leaves the house Friday afternoon and doesn’t return until about 7PM Sunday evening. This schedule is like clockwork. In 3 months, it hasn’t changed. This of course leaves me the entire house to myself. This works out in my favor and will come into play later in our story…

My best friend of 8 years, we’ll call him D, has a good sized family. After knowing him for so long, I have also sort of become a good friend of his family (I’m known as uncle “B” by his kids). His mother and her husband’s 20th anniversary was this past Saturday, and they decided that they wanted to renew their vows. Naturally, I got an invite. I went stag, since my bitch of a soon-to-be ex decided she didn’t want to go 2 days before the event. This also worked out in my favor, although I didn’t know it at the time.

Saturday rolls around, and I decided that I should rock my new black pinstripe suit for this thing tonight. Might as well get some practice pimping time in, right? So off to the reception hall I go. Once I get there, I realize that not only are the local family members there but also some others that flew in from out of town as well; including a few that I hadn’t met as of yet. One in particular, we’ll call her Carly, is a smoking hot 26 year old radio personality from Nashville. She’s relatively tall, slender and tan, brown hair, blue eyes. OMG what a combo, she’s simply beautiful. The only negative mark on her is the B cup she is sporting, but since she is skinny it doesn’t look bad on her (I’m a boob guy in case some of you didn’t know that). She is one of D’s nieces (of which there are like 6 I think).

The service ends, the dinner begins, and all the while I am wondering why she isn’t with a date, since all of the other nieces brought their respective boyfriends. D tells me that she is single. Mind you, I didn’t come to this event with any plans of picking up a chick. After all, these people are almost family to me. As the evening progresses, I keep on hitting the open bar and I eventually end up standing next to Carly. Being the nice guy I am, I introduce myself and start up a conversation with her. I didn’t give her any pick up lines or try to hit on her in any way; I was just being my cordial self.

We stood there just BSing for quite a while, not really paying attention to anything else when all of a sudden the DJ of the party comes up to us and puts an Indian headdress on her and a yellow hardhat on me. I look at him and give him the evil eye then he says, “Come on you two! I’ll get you to participate in this party if it’s the last thing I do!” And leads us to the center of the dance floor. I knew what was coming. He already had a few other people up there, one with a police hat and one with a biker helmet. Yep, you guessed it. We were going to sing YMCA. Trying to save the last shred of dignity I had left, I yelled out to him “Hey, I need a screwdriver to put in my mouth to complete this costume.” He shrugged me off. Ass. So there I was, trying to do my best Wayne Campbell imitation (think Wayne’s World 2) and actually succeeding I think. She was cracking up, and so was the rest of the family. After what seemed like some sort of extended version of the song, we made our way back over towards the bar and got ourselves another round of much-needed booze.
 

·
Lord of the Thighs
Joined
·
1,240 Posts
Discussion Starter #2 (Edited)
We got to talking some more and over the course of the rest of the night, she would walk away and do her own thing, I’d go do my own thing, and then come back over again, etc, etc. Basically, I didn’t follow her around all night like a puppy dog. Like I said, I wasn’t trying to pick anyone up, I was just being friendly. If she wanted to talk to me some more, she knew where I was. I left it at that.

The reception part of the evening was drawing to a close, and some of us were talking about going out to a bar and getting some drinks and hanging out for a bit. Me being one of the few people who had a car, I offered to take some people with me. It was at this point that Carly started asking her mother for directions to her grandmother’s house. I paid it no mind until she says that she is staying with me tonight. My jaw literally hit the floor. At no time during our conversation that evening had we even hinted about anything like that. Not knowing quite what to say, I just pretended that I didn’t hear what she said. One thing I neglected to mention earlier was the fact that Carly’s personality is that of a fun loving, free-spirited girl. Very spur of the moment kind of chick. I had never been out with a woman like that before, a fact that left me not knowing quite what to expect with her, but I knew the evening was about to get much better.

We walked out to the parking lot and most of the rest of the family was already there, almost as if they were waiting for us. The rumor mill had already started. Regardless of what happened this evening, just the fact that I was going to a bar with her means I will be ****ing Carly tonight in the eyes of her family. I was torn. I really liked her; she was so fun to hang with. At the same time, I didn’t want the family to think any less of or start hating me. My judgment, hampered by the copious amount of alcohol I had consumed that evening, decided it was worth the risk. I went over to the people who had said just 5 minutes ago that they wanted to hit a bar, only to find out that suddenly I was on my own. They all of a sudden felt tired. Oh shit. It was now virtually impossible for me to look innocent in the least. **** it. Whether or not I end up in her panties, I’m going to have some fun tonight. I opened up the passenger door for her, let her in, and drove off.

I took her to a bar near my house, and the whole way there all she could talk about was sex. I was trying not to think about it, since for me it has been a good long time since I had seen some action. I just figured that if something was going to happen, it would happen naturally. We get there, and the place that was once a sports bar is now a redneck bar. ****. I can’t stand rednecks. Even though I would just as soon eat my own toenails than go into a redneck bar, she said she was used to them (she is, after all, from Nashville) so we go in and order a few beers. The convo remains sexual, and then in mid sentence she grabs my face and ****ing kisses me. I mean, she caught me totally off guard. All I can say, is those are 2 of the softest lips I have ever kissed.

After a few rounds, and more kissing, a bar brawl starts to erupt amongst the necks in the bar. We decide to pay the tab and make our exit before the cops show up. I could sense that Carly was pretty horned up at this point, partly due to the fact that she was trying to undress me in the car as I was driving. So here I am trying to drive and not look like I am slightly drunk, and this crazy chick is making it next to impossible for me to even see the road. Luckily for me, all the cops in the area were headed back to redneck central to break up a fight that was probably based on what brand of tires are best for muddin’. But I digress….

I still don’t know how I made it home without wrapping my car around a tree. I mean this chick was INSANE. If some of you guys have had your GF mess with you while you were driving you may have an idea of what I’m talking about. Multiply that by about 100 and you can picture what I was dealing with. All cautious and stealth like, I pull into my garage and immediately lower the garage door. I don’t need my neighbors seeing anything, not that they would as it is now 3AM. She didn’t even wait for me to turn off the car and she was in my lap going nucking futs. She then freezes when she sees my ex wife’s SUV sitting next to us in the garage, and again I have to calm her fears that she is gone and won’t be back until Sunday night. Inside the house we go.
 

·
Lord of the Thighs
Joined
·
1,240 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
I grab a couple of beers from the fridge, and no sooner do I turn around is she standing there buck ass nekkid. Sweet merciful gods of all that is sacred and holy, I can’t even begin to describe my elation at seeing this. This chick was full of surprises. She had multiple piercings..both nips, belly button, and clit. A couple of really small tats as well. As I said before, simply beautiful. Making our way up the stairs was kind of difficult with a beer in each hand and her hands furiously ripping my clothes off while kissing me, but I survived. Throwing me on the bed, she goes straight for the one eyed purple headed monster. Oh what skills she did possess. I could write poetry about them, honestly I could. She didn’t linger for long, which is good since I wanted to find out all I could about her lower piercing buy performing an intense examination with my tongue. Remember when I said her lips were the softest ever? Change that to 2nd softest. Her unbearded clam was a work of art all unto itself, but I couldn’t stare long as the anticipation was killing her at this point.

I don’t know if I have ever had a tougher time trying to keep my mouth on a pussy before in my life. I now know what it must be like to be a bull rider in a rodeo. Holy shit. When I said earlier that she was wild, it was a bit of an understatement. When she could take no more, she pulled my up by the hair on my head and begged for my sausage. I had a condom in my drawer for just such an occasion, but she pleaded with me to just pull out. Now, normally I would have just got the damn condom anyway, but something about the way she asked me, as well as the amount of beer in my system took over and I relented.

Tight (tiet)
adj. tight•er, tight•est
1. Of such close construction as to be impermeable: cloth tight enough to hold water; warm in our tight little cabin.
2. Leaving little empty space through compression; compact: a tight suitcase; a tight weave.
3. Fitting close or too close to the skin; snug: a tight collar; a fit that was much too tight.
4. Experiencing a feeling of constriction: a tight feeling in the chest.

Above is the textbook definition. Carly’s happy place is the female equivalent. Between that and her vocal performance, it didn’t take an eternity for me to attempt a re-creation of a Picasso painting on her stomach. This chick is sensual in a way that most other women I have been with could never seem to master. She surrenders her entire being to the act of sex. She enjoys it so much that her entire body was trembling for a good 45 minutes afterwards. Round 2 is always my favorite. That’s when you are freer to try different positions and not have to worry about blowing a nut anytime soon. I think if we had more time, she would have let me PIIHB. I looked over at the clock, and it read 5:49 AM. Shit. I had to go to work that morning. Getting back down to business, I painted yet another masterpiece on her chest and face, and tried to get some sleep.

Almost exactly an hour later, I woke up and went downstairs to hit the shower and get cleaned up, I go back upstairs and wake up sleeping beauty. She is tired but she knows that I have to go to work. That doesn’t stop her from asking for a morning quickie. I knew that it would make me late, but I don’t think my boss will mind much when he finds out why. Painting #3 = another facial masterpiece. She cleans up, and I take her to her Grandmother’s house. We discuss our cover story in detail, and we promise not to tell anyone what really happened. We exchange phone #s and email and say we’ll keep in touch. After a satisfying hug, she heads up to the door for what I just know is a grand inquisition by the rest of the family. I drove off with the sun shining in my sleep deprived eyes, a feeling of satisfaction, and a large cup of coffee. Only the fingernail scratches that remain on my arms, back and neck and the vivid memory of mine will tell the real story as to what happened that night. All the other evidence is long gone.
:D
 

·
*Honorary Member* Bass&Style is all U need.
Joined
·
5,546 Posts
Good read!
Congrats. To bad she doesn't live closer. Wrap your shit!!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
512 Posts
damn. I just read all taht and i have to say taht morph, it is now a fact that you are my role model. Gdamn that was a hellofa night.
 

·
Long-term troll
Joined
·
282 Posts
Nice to hear about your good fortune.


I'd of hit it raw-dog too :wall:
 

·
Lord of the Thighs
Joined
·
1,240 Posts
Discussion Starter #19
I almost forgot, I unloaded my gun before this event, so I was more laid back as a result. Maybe that was the deciding factor. :dunno:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
128 Posts
After reading all your horror stories about your wife and whatnot, I had a smile on my face reading this story. Glad to hear you found someone. Don't run off and marry her, now. ;)
 
1 - 20 of 73 Posts
Top